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Is Honesty Really Honest?

Introducing some examples of honesty and authenticity I find interesting. Some are personal.

“Honesty” by The Vivi

These days, honesty is the trait of the brave or the crazy. This is a very selfish post about my honesties.

1. Writing

Have you ever wondered how many of the great writers of all time wrote only for their pleasure vs how many wrote always thinking what others would think about their writing?

2. Gurus

George, the closest person whom I would call my “spiritual guide” in Bucharest, Romania, told me before my first meditation class with him: “Please, I’m not a guru. I am here to do business. That is why there is a donation box at the entrance.” His honesty strikes me every time.

3. I also remember going to a self-development workshop with a gay friend. We enjoyed it, were a bit befuddled by the aggression of the trainer, laughed and survived. A few months later, I attended a 4-day event with the same trainer. On the second morning of our training, he told me how much he liked my friend and that he noticed how noble and enlightened my friend was. I thanked him and agreed wholeheartedly. One night, during dinner, sitting with all of his students (me included) and his girlfriend on his side, the trainer said: “I think gay people are sick. There is something wrong with them in the head.” I said in a plain voice: “Remember my friend who joined me to your previous workshop? My friend you liked. He is gay.” The silence that followed could have been cut with a knife.

After attending countless personal development sessions, trainings, etc, I can draw one conclusion: the trainers who don’t give a damn about money or selling their next product are the successful ones.

Teaching

4. I have been a teacher for 29 years. I started teaching at 17 and I have enjoyed every second of every class since. I feel at ease teaching, not in the military sense although there is a connection there. I don’t know if it is only honesty that makes me enjoy my job. It may be a mix of empathy, dedication, and honesty. I feel I belong when I teach, just like when I write, I dance, I read, I make lists, I learn, I dress up, I clean, I cook, I meditate and so on.

Drinking

5. An ex told me sometime in 2012: “When you drink, the others may not be having so much fun.” I used to go out once every three months or so and drink my sadness out. In all honesty, (the subject of this article), drinking made me feel worse afterward, physically and mentally. But right then, for 2–4 hours, I could talk to men and thought I was sexy at the same time, which was sort of unusual for me. More about this later.

My honesties:

*I write for my pleasure because it is jumpy and elegant,

*I listen to people and sometimes tell them what I think straight away when I honestly feel they need to stand corrected,

*I teach with my heart and

*I stopped drinking (and smoking for that matter) because, honestly, there is no enlightened man ready to love the intricate me or any magic pill to solve my problems at the bottom of any bottle.

There are other more important things I think I am doing in honesty. I will write another piece about this soon.

Also, I will leave this here (for posterity, says my ego). I have become more aware of what people (I included) talk about. I listen more and understand more. I wrote about this process of listening here.

After writing this bit about writing, honesty, what other people think of us, my teaching and my drinking, I realize how important these things are to me. Again, I am damn proud of working on what needs to be worked on. I chose to focus on what makes me happy and change what didn’t. A good decision so far.


Vivi has been writing about the process of self-realization since the age of six. She has dedicated her last years to helping people know themselves and live their best life. Vivi has been teaching for the last 30 years. She also posts/blogs about the role of cooking at the intersection of food and self-mastery.

Published inMindfulnessTeachingWriting

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