vivianaball.ro

I like to consider myself a fair person. In fairness to my country, I need to mention 3 positive things that  have happened this weekend.

1. On Friday evening I noticed I could not connect to the Internet anymore. No idea what happened. I called RDS (my Internet provider) on Friday night, they said someone would fix it the next day, I did not believe that. Cause you never trust anyone in this country. That’s something I have to start working on very soon. Good lesson this weekend! So I called again Saturday morning. And they said again someone would come. 2 hours later, on Saturday, someone came to fix it. It took hours until the guy figured out what was wrong. And it was our fault (too many cables and routers, etc). He was also very polite.
2. I ordered Chinese from Hua Long on the phone. I apologized to the lady because I could not tell her quickly what I wanted, as our Internet connection was down and I could not scroll in the list of items on their website. She was an angel. She even recommended stuff (oh, then you should get this or that…) and she wished us Pofta buna wholeheartedly in the end.
3. My Grandma suddenly got sick yesterday. Really sick. I tried to help her as I could, and I also called the public ambulance service (thinking they would never arrive). In fact I called 112 and they connected me to the ambulance service. The doctor came in 2 hours (so Romanians should stop saying that the ambulance never comes to old people! My Grandma still looks good, but she is almost 90 for Christ’s sake!). The doctor (lady doctor) was polite, nice and very helpful. She gave Grannie a shot and told us what to do.

I know that most of my readers from W countries think that all this sounds like stating facts about normal every day life. Why would anyone be thrilled that a receptionist is polite, or that a cable guy goes the extra mile to fix something? Or that the paramedics come when you call them? Well, we only experienced the lack of services in Romania for 45 years (communist period), and another 20 since our so called revolution. Things are changing slowly, but changing! I will keep you posted on what is really special in our country, or simply, the things that become normal. I guess it’s true what Ambassador Jim Rosapepe told me when I was younger: “you, Romanians, still have a lot to discover, and that makes your life even more interesting.”

In 1999 (I think), I was visiting Casa Poporului with the American Ambassador to Romania and his friend, the American Ambassador to Great Britain. I was acting as a guide/translator for them and their spouses and children. As we were walking through that horrible building, I mentioned to the Ambassador to England that “I am still nicely surprised when there is hot water and I can take a shower”. He asked me why. And I told him that for us, Romanians, hot water, meat, electricity, bananas, oranges, chocolate and many other things where luxury items in communism. And sometimes, because we lived for so long depraved of all these things, without even realizing it, we are happy that we have them now. To my surprise, the Ambassador stopped, called his children, and had me tell the stories from my childhood again. Stories about sitting and doing my homework in the dark, candles on the table, my hands freezing and wearing a hat outside and inside as well, eating terrible food, TV for 2 hours in the evening (and every minute of it about Ceausescu and his great deeds), no hot water, etc. When I finished, the Ambassador turned to his children (2 beautiful blonde American  9 and 14 year olds) and said: “now, do you understand how lucky you are?”

March 1^st is the obvious date for the first celebration of spring, which in Romanian is called “Martisor”.   While Martisor is similar to other Balkan spring festivals, especially the Bulgarian celebration of Martenitsa, it retains many unique features that make it an all-Romanian holiday.

Ladies, don’t be surprised if, on March, 1^st you receive gifts that look like cheap pins, tied to red and white silk string.  This is the remnant of an altogether different gift from the past.  Today only women receive the Martisor (and it is usually only given by men), but it was once a gift for both men and women.  It can now be anything, from painted tin or ceramic flowers to a plastic Superman, but it was once a gold coin, and later any symbol of luck in Romanian culture:  a horseshoe, a cloverleaf, a chimney sweep, etc.

Historically, Martisor can be traced back to the Dacians, the ancestors of modern Romanians, who used to hold celebrations in late winter/early spring.  These were inspired partly by the Roman celebration Matronalia, and partly by a Balkan custom, in which the first stork, the first snowdrops that pierce the river ice, and the two first consecutive sunny days meant that spring has arrived, and it’s time to celebrate.  Other legends connect Martisor to Baba Dochia.

It’s not easy to trace the origins of the talismans that are now called Martisor, but most historians agree that the custom may be as much as 1,000 years old.  As mentioned above, the original talisman was not an artifact, but a coin.  In some areas, the metal it was made from was a sign of one’s social standing – gold for the rich and bronze for the poor.  But it was always a coin, tied around the neck, angle or wrist with red & white string.  The custom of the coin is preserved today only in Bukovina.  There, it’s worn for 12 days, after which it’s sold for cheese, according to the folk belief that this will keep one’s face white and beautiful throughout the year.

In other places, Martisor has changed over the years, and any wearable spring token is acceptable.  People pin the Martisor to their coats, and wear it either the entire month of March, or for 12 days only (in Bukovina, as mentioned above, as well as Moldavia and Dobruja).  It can actually be worn indefinitely, so don’t be surprised to see it on someone’s coat even in May, and it’s taken off only when one sees the first stork in flight.  In other places, such as central Romania, it’s traditionally worn only during the day, as it is said that the Martisor has great powers, and can protect one from the deceitful spring sun, that can turn one’s skin black!  You can also tie your talisman to the branches of a tree near your home.

Another legend in line with the spring celebrations is Babele (Old Ladies’ Days).  This legend says that from March 1 - 9 you are let into the secret of how your life is going to be in the coming year.  Here’s the way to do it:  take your birth date and reduce it to a number between 1 and 9.  For example, if your birth date is the 14^th, your Baba (Old Lady’s Day) is on the 5^th of March (1+4=5), and if your birth date is the 29^th, your Baba is on the 2^nd of March (2+9=11, 1+1=2).  If the weather is good on your chosen day, your life will be easy all year long.  Even if your day is filled with hailstorms, however, there is an easy antidote:  Wear your Martisor, and it will protect you from all hardships!

Finally, if you are worried you may not be able to celebrate Martisor once you leave Romania, we’re happy to tell you that the tradition has gone global.  For the past few years, most Martisor tokens have been made in China!

source: WORDLAND

My January trip to Belgium was too short. Links to the galleries of pics I took in the 3 cities here:

Brussels

Bruges

and Antwerp

Belgium is the place for people who like details, rain, chocolate, antiques, statues, cathedrals, small and medium size squares and old beautiful buildings (most of the time nicely painted in gold), moules, chocolate and moules again…My best friend lives in Brussels and she really made me feel like home in Belgium. Andreea is the sweetest friend I have ever had.

The Depeche Mode concert in Antwerp on January 23 was a delight. It was my last Depeche Mode concert this year. I witnessed an outburst of energy from Dave Gahan and a rather unusual end to Home from Martin. The small Sportspaleis (17,000 people) was the perfect place for me to say Good bye, Lovers… I am using Antwerp for Anvers, just because this is what Dave used when greeting the audience after Hole to Feed.

These are the pics I took in Antwerp, at the Depeche Mode concert.

Ok, too many general complaints. I will go into detail today. I will write about things and people that bother my Romanian life. It’s all about me and my personal discomfort. God help me remember as much as I can, if not I will serve you another helping soon.

1. Food I dislike (or related): steaming shaorma places in Bucharest! People who sell seeds, people cracking them open and spitting in the street, chewing gum on the back of your chair in cinemas and restaurants, tasteless icecream nicely served in malls and fancy restaurants (paper tastes tastier), sprayable whipped cream, fruit and vegetables from Turkey (every supermarket sells them), fish not cooked properly in almost all Romanian restaurants (don’t order saramura unless you know the place!).

2. TV I don’t watch (cause it’s a waste of time): all Romanian soap operas and quite a few American series not worth mentioning. All Big Brother and American Idol type shows and definitely every Romanian crappy show on Saturday and Sunday afternoon and evening (I can only remember 2: Folclorul contraataca and Schimb de mame). Good question: why am I writing in English? Hmm…because I know all Romanians have a pretty good knowledge of English and we need to tell the world something, not keep it to ourselves…Ah! I think Calinescu is worse than Badea.

3. Music genres I can’t stand: for the purposes of this question can Fuego be a genre?

4. Magazines that annoy me: 99% of them. And that is just because I am a teacher and I cannot help noticing even the smallest grammar mistakes or illogic statements. And I feel it’s a huge waste of time to read something written by people who usually hate their jobs, and whenever they write something good, it’s about something that someone paid for…I bought some nice magazines from Germany. I mean, nice as in good looking! As soon as I learn German I will enjoy those, probably… Yes, it is also about the looks of the magazine. If it’s glossy and glamour, then it should look shiny and attractive!

5. I am polite to, but…: people who talk to me respectfully, even when they bore me to death, people who ask for help and I don’t have the time and I feel bad about it, people who are new to a situation and don’t know the code of conduct.

6. I don’t think about: as much as I would like to write something in this section, nothing comes to my mind. I guess this confirms that I don’t think about things I don’t think about!

7. Pisses me off: people who tell me I’m wrong when I show them undeniable proof that I am right, people who pretend they don’t understand what I am trying to say just for the hell of it, people who don’t treat me with respect when I am buying something from them, people complaining to me about their jobs, financial situation, lack of this or that when it’s clear as daylight they are not even trying to do anything to change that, people who know better how to run my life, this country and why not the whole world, people who have used Twitter for too long to keep breaking the same rules over and over again, people who wave me into parking lots even when it is clear that I do not have the intention to pull in, winking at me (in general), strong perfume smells (cheap or expensive perfume in large quantities makes me vomit), strong bad smells (I won’t go into details), loud manele, D&G bags (or any other clothing item of the kind), people who hate (be it people or things)

8. I despise and try to stay away from: people who persist in the same mistake over and over again, people who think they have more rights than other people, people who beat their children, people who abuse other people in any form, people who have vices and are not even trying to give them up, people who do evil things just for the hell of it, people who are evil and manipulate other people, people who made money fast (especially after our so called revolution) and think they own Romania, people who speak loud on their mobile phones in restaurants, people who use all kinds of gears and gadgets for cars, phones, etc, just to attract everyone’s attention, people who say they know it all and they are nobodies preaching to sympathetic listeners, people who have never accomplished anything in their lives because they never tried, never wanted to try, never tried to try, people who are bad in their jobs (especially when they stay in the same job for years because…and they give you a million reasons, the truth being far from those stories), people who take credit for others’ success, people who expect other people to support them, pay their bills and be nice to them just because…, people who don’t like the music I like a priori, and don’t even make the slightest effort to listen to In Strict Confidence at least (common… if that is too much, ok, Depeche Mode…something!), bad teachers, bad professionals of any kind (especially teachers, as mentioned above), people who overcharge me, cheat or steal my money directly or by lying to me in order to get money from me, so they make a big story about a law suit they lost and they need to pay back tons of money, people who don’t apologize sincerely, people who spend time in an unproductive way, people who live for living, people who don’t understand the meaning of their own life, smart and capable people who don’t do their job properly and expect to be cheered for their wits at work and not for their work results, people who don’t understand that life is about projects, deadlines, success, attempts, failure, friendship, love, dedication, fun and more love, people who simply waste my time with crap either live or online, people who don’t understand the words yes and no, people who try harder to make you believe what they are not, not what they really are, people who have tried to change me, my life, my values or my principles, people who are unhappy with themselves and don’t put an end to their own misery, people who blame others for their misfortunes, people who read what other people write and say they could have definitely done it better, people who count the days until something happens, and then they are totally cool on that day pretending that it’s suddenly not that cool to live that moment, people who don’t like people because they can be a threat to their unborn children (that is, of course, about hate in pure form, any form of “–ism” or phobia), people who hate people from a country and have never met a person from that country (that does not apply to languages lol), and last but not least Romanians who hate Romania but don’t leave our country, Romanians who left Romania, leave abroad and suddenly become gurus from diaspora. If I have ever made a mistake that falls into one of the above categories, it means I was just too young. At least I don’t persist in my mistakes.

9. I hate: once you mention the people you hate, you create sympathy for them…lol. Well, I was not designed to hate. I cannot hate. Sometimes I just wish I could hate (just a little bit, please…). And I end up thinking of my daughter, a Depeche Mode song or what I have to do on that day or a generally positive thing and I realize again I cannot hate. Designed to lack the feeling of hate, said my creator. Still, the condescension and contempt I feel towards so many people qualifies me at least in the quarter finals for the position of official hater! I have strong positive feelings most of the time, and when I sink into misery, it’s usually because I fail in something. So much for what I hate in this life…or not.

Thanks to Liz’ post, here I go again.

As long as I still hear Romanians complaining about everything and doing nothing about it (be it their own life or Romania in general), as long as I receive poor services and fight incompetence and indifference (although Romanians are so smart!), as long as there is garbage everywhere and Romanians drive like maniacs (always in a hurry but always late), as long as I get the “Yes, I’ll do it immediately” reply that never translates into reality, as long as rudeness and shallowness are the characteristics of too many teenagers and adults who don’t take the time to read a book, but prefer to listen to a music that seems to come from the Ottoman Empire and watch the most disgraceful and tasteless videos and talk shows about nothingness – I will still be complaining about my own country but continue loving it.

I am not saying that I can only see negative things in our country! God forbid! We have the best country in the world considering… But we still need to work on a lot of things, and it deeply hurts to see that Romania is so far behind other countries! Of course you have the right to ask me what makes me better than other Romanians, and why am I complaining? Well, I have earned my right to complain about the laziness and incompetence in Romania the very second I started a company that pays salaries to individuals and a lot of tax to the Romanian state. The second I invested (as an entrepreneur) the first Leu (or Euro, or USD whatever) in businesses that in time proved to be well managed and profitable (and yes, we pay tax…) I earned my right to complain. I have worked my but for too long for the companies I run to feel ashamed of saying what really bothers me in this country.

I think our problems come from the lack of education, as well as the lack of civic responsibility and community spirit. I, for one, have been trying very hard to get rid of my communist habits (note that I was 16 at the revolution). It took a while before I managed to manage my companies properly, thinking ahead and planning. I took no management, marketing or accounting classes in school or college, I only knew my job very well (teaching) and I had the strong will to contribute to the improvement of the Romanian business environment. I went to courses, masters, meetings, conferences and strived every day to learn something new from books, colleagues, clients, etc. And I still am. Every day.

It would be a good thing to try to help, respect, talk, listen, and work together for a start. Competition is good, but not when it is just another imported disease. Respect is great, but not when it becomes asskissing. And so on and so forth. I admire the Germans so much. I have written about their politeness and rules many times. Germany would be a great model to follow, and a pretty easy ready-made recipe of success. If we only elected the right people, patriots with the right vision, able to implement changes, change the changes that have wrongly been made in the last 20 years. The right people for this country seem to be watching from a distance and acknowledging the fact that Romania is so corrupt and still ruled by communists, that it makes no sense to try anything. With this being said, the vicious circle has been completed.

All developed countries, full of resources or not, are developed because they have a system that works. Honest and righteous people who know how to obey and apply rules lead them to success. I guess although I am comparing apples to pairs, they are both fruit, so I will dare compare a country to a company. Both need to pay salaries and sell to customers. Both need to keep an eye on expenses and make reserves. Both need fixed assets and good employees and sometimes a good ol’ firing is recommended. But what I think makes the difference in both cases is an honest, hard working and experienced CEO who always sees the big picture. More on stuff that bothers me personally in a new post. Until then, complain if you feel you have earned the right to do it!